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Using Emotional Spiking to Create Attraction

Whether you have just met someone, or you are in an established relationship, it is a powerful skill to be able to create attraction.  It is common for people to believe that creating and maintaining attraction is all based on physical appearance and that we have little control over who is attracted to us.  While we are very visually stimulated, men more so then women, we do have the ability to drive attraction in others and one of those ways is through emotional spiking.


Emotional spiking is when you do something to make another person’s internal emotion level jump.  By effectively doing this, you can help to increase another person’s attention, interest, and intrigue.  An example of this at work is how women are drawn to guys that don’t treat them well and get bored with nice guys.  When someone is not nice, this can create a tremendous amount of emotional spiking which can draw the other person in and creates a very strong connection.   When someone is always nice, this might minimize emotional spikes creating a situation that is not exciting and the woman may lose attraction.

Below are three ways to influence emotional spiking and create attraction:


Lack of Availability
When we meet someone, we are instantly measuring their level of personal value.  We do this subconsciously as we are drawn to people that have strength in different areas: socially, physically, financially, etc.  One way to create attraction and do some emotional spiking is to not always be completely available when it comes to making plans.  By only being available at certain times, you are subconsciously sending a message that you are busy, have a lot going on, have a lot of friends, etc.  This displays strength and creates emotional spiking by causing emotional highs and lows when someone tries to make plans with you


Delayed Response
Very related to not being completely available, is a technique to create attraction by delaying your responses.  When we leave a message for somebody that we are interested in, whether it is an email, voicemail, or text message, we instantly go into a state of waiting for a response.  We can leverage this state in others to create emotional spiking by delaying our response to the sender.  By mixing in delayed responses, the sender may then spend time wonder what we are thinking or what is going on.  This can create a fluctuation in emotional spiking which can increase the other person’s level of interest and attraction.


Push / Pull 
One concept that has a direct impact on emotional spiking is push / pull.  This is when you mix messages up by pulling someone in and then pushing them away, figuratively speaking.  An example of this is by giving someone a compliment (pulling them in), but then dismiss it as not being something that is important to you in a joking tone (pushing them away).  This concept can be used in a lot different ways and creates emotional fluctuations in the other person, which drives emotional spiking and can create attraction.


Launch Pad Solutions helps people to improve relationships through relationship coaching.


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This article was published on Saturday 23 October, 2010.
Back to main topic: Interpersonal Skills
Getting What You Want When Dealing With Others
Confronting Someone Without Confrontation

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